Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen, in your body, a story? Like the shape of your hips, the curve of your stomach, or the way your body moves through the world is somehow tied to the pain you've carried? You're not alone. For so many trauma survivors, body image struggles aren’t just about appearance—they’re about safety, control, and survival. Healing from trauma often brings these struggles to the surface, making it clear that our relationship with our bodies is deeply intertwined with our past. So let's explore the connection between body image and trauma.
But first...
We want to make an important distinction: trauma is not the only source of body image struggles. We live in a fatphobic world that constantly tells us our bodies need to be "fixed." It’s easy to believe that if we heal our trauma, we’ll also "fix" our weight and finally be good enough.
Your body is not the problem. There is nothing wrong with your size, shape, weight, or any other aspect of your body.
For some, body image struggles stem primarily from societal pressures and messages, rather than personal trauma. If that’s your experience, you may find this blog on diet culture and this blog on health at every size relevant.
This blog focuses on those whose body image concerns are deeply tied to trauma. If that resonates with you, keep reading—but if it doesn’t, know that your body is still worthy of love and respect exactly as it is.
Raven's Story (and maybe yours too?)
As we go explore trauma and body image, a story may be helpful for us to refer back to, to better illustrate our point. While Raven is not a real person, she is based on the stories we've heard in our offices.
NOTE: this story may be triggering. Please feel free to skip to the next section.
Raven grew up in a home with emotionally and physically abusive parents. They were always telling her she wasn't good enough and needed to be better. They'd withhold love as a form of punishment, making her believe that she was a bad person. Raven's parents criticized every aspect of who she was, calling her lazy, worthless, insulting her body and telling her she wouldn't amount to anything. They would harm her physically, under the lie that this was to help her. Because of her parents words and actions, Raven internalized a message that she would only be worthy of love if she changed herself deeply.
Raven found food to be an immense sense of comfort. In a home that made her feel unwelcome and unloved, Raven discovered that food was something that helped her feel happy. Food was something to look forward to in an otherwise bleak day and Raven (unconsciously) used it as a tool to help lift her mood when she was feeling down, ignored and in pain.
Over time though, Raven's body changed because she used food as a tool and her parents became vicious about her weight.
Raven realized she could protect herself from her parents anger and hatred if she showed them she was trying to lose weight.
Early in high school, Raven tried her first diet, losing considerable weight and getting a lot of praise. Raven delighted in how people looked at her with admiration!
Raven could never stick to the diet though. Over time, the restrictive nature of the diet would become unsustainable and Raven would gain weight back. She'd try a new diet, a new workout plan and the cycle would start over. Because of Raven's history and the messages that society sends, she saw herself as the problem. "I'm too lazy" she'd tell herself, believing that her lack of motivation and follow-through was the issue.
As she grew up and more traumatic events happened, Raven became more and more disconnected from her body. Her body was a place of pain and not somewhere that felt safe to be. She started to fell numb all the time, not really noticing how her body was feeling. The more disconnected Raven was from her body, the more she hated it, wanting to change it.
Understanding Body Image Through a Trauma-Informed Lens
Raven’s experience highlights a key concept in trauma recovery: the body is where trauma lives. While the mind is the one who makes sense of the trauma, it is the body that experienced the trauma. The body is the one that felt the pain, overwhelm, fear and anguish of the event(s), while it is the mind that labelled and understood those events.
When something traumatic occurs, including emotional, physical and sexual abuse, the body feels pain, fear and overwhelming sensations that can be too much to handle. Over time, the mind begins to realize that it can "step away" from the body, so to speak, and not feel these feelings and sensation. This can lead to dissociation, or a disconnection from bodily sensations. The mind can learn to ignore or "tune out" sensations from the body.
When we are disconnected from our bodies due to trauma and pain, it is easy to see the body and what it feels as the problem. We think that if only our body was different, then the pain would go away. We may try to control our bodies, to override the painful sensations and emotions in an attempt to not experience the residue of the trauma. Connect this impact of trauma to societal messages that try to convince us we will be happier if are in a smaller body, and diets and intense workout plans may seem like a great way to gain control and feel better.
While the mind is the one who makes sense of the trauma, it is the body that experienced the trauma. The body is the one that felt the pain, overwhelm, fear and anguish of the event(s).
Why the Cycle Feels Impossible to Break
If we look at Raven, we can see the cycle she was trapped in:
My body feels unsafe
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I do not like the sensations in my body when I feel unsafe
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I disconnect from my body to feel safer
⬇️
My body still feels uncomfortable
⬇️
I try to change it and control it, thinking I will feel better (weight loss, muscle building, etc)
⬇️
The changes I make are unsustainable because I am not listening to my body
⬇️
I see my body as the enemy, the one sabotaging my success
⬇️
My body feels more unsafe.
And round and round we go.
It Was Adaptive!
One thing to keep in mind, is that this cycle was very adaptive! When we say adaptive, we mean that Raven did a really good job of changing or adapting to find safety in her environment. When her parents were abusing her, it made a lot of sense to use food to help her find joy in bleak times. Then when they started to mock her for her weight, it was again a really smart thing to learn that she could stop the bullying by dieting.
What Raven did made sense, and the cycles that you may be caught in also make sense based on the environments you are/were in. There is no shame in being caught in this cycle, because these behaviours helped save you! And if things are different now and you'd like to step off of this cycle, that's wonderful!
Moving Toward Healing
So, what might healing look like for Raven, if she wanted to heal? Healing cannot mean forcing oneself to love their body overnight or to heal trauma to finally "fix" our body. This could potentially be re-traumatizing because the body may store a lot of pain and memories.
. Instead, it might begin with curiosity and compassion.
Reconnecting with Sensations – Practices like gentle movement, deep breathing, or even noticing what foods feel nourishing can help bridge the gap between mind and body.
Challenging Internalized Beliefs – Recognizing that body shame wasn’t something you are born with, but something you are taught, can help rewrite the self-narrative.
Practicing Body Neutrality – Instead of forcing body love, people might start by acknowledging that their body carries them through life and deserves care, even when they struggles with its appearance.
Building Safety in the Body – Trauma-informed approaches like somatic therapy can help survivors feel safer in their own skin by addressing the nervous system’s responses to past harm.
Kamloops and British Columbia Counselling and Therapy for Body Image and Eating Disorders
If you would like support healing from trauma and struggles with body image, Jillian is a therapist who focuses her counselling practice helping folks build new relationships with their body and heal trauma. She is available online and in-person in Kamloops, BC.
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