Understanding EMDR Therapy: Key Misconceptions and What to Expect

It's not uncommon that we get clients coming to us specifically for EMDR therapy. As part of your consideration of EMDR, it's important to understand how this therapy fits into the bigger picture of your overall healing. Many people come to EMDR with the belief that they can jump straight into trauma processing or that EMDR will focus only on a single incident. However, EMDR is most effective when we explore how your experiences are connected and when we take the necessary steps to build safety before beginning trauma processing. This blog may also be a helpful resource if you are working with another therapist and want to try EMDR in conjunction with other therapies.

Smiling woman sits on a gray couch, hand up, doing EMDR. Blue, gray pillows and an abstract painting in the background add style. — Jillian, one of our EMDR therapists, demonstrates a component of EMDR called Bilateral Stimulation.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitizing and Reprocessing. It is a protocol for trauma healing that uses eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help process traumatic memories. For a full explanation on EMDR, please consider visiting this blog.

There are two main misconceptions about EMDR that we would like to address to help you maximize your experience. They are:

You can begin the trauma processing immediately upon starting EMDR therapy.
EMDR can target a single incident of trauma without exploring the broader context of the memory.

Let’s explore both these misconceptions in depth.

Misconception: You can begin EMDR trauma processing as soon as you start therapy

When most people reach out for EMDR therapy (especially when they also work with another therapist) they want to jump right in to the processing. And we get that! You want to process the past incidents of trauma so that you no longer have to carry the weight of them. This makes so much sense! Unfortunately, this is not possible, as there are 8 phases of EMDR therapy and trauma processing is actually #4.

Before we can begin processing, we as your therapist, need to do a number of things:

We need to build safety and connection. If we, as your therapist, are asking you to recall your traumas, you need to trust us as a professional so that we can guide you and help maximize your healing. If you do not trust your therapist, the EMDR won’t be as deep or helpful. We find that people who have experienced relational trauma (I.e. trauma that occurs due to the actions of another person) often need more time than they expect to build a safe enough relationship to proceed with EMDR.
Further, we need to make sure that you have coping skills to manage as we process the trauma. You may have learnt some skills with another therapist that are transferable to EMDR, but there are some specific tools that work very well for EMDR.
We, as the therapist, also need to get to know you well enough that we can pick up on the subtle signs that you are becoming dysregulated. This will help us keep you safe throughout the process.
We need to understand how the trauma that you are wanting to work with fits in to the broader context of your life (more on that below). If you and your therapist do not know how all the pieces connect, we may not be preparing you safely and we can risk re-traumatization.
We need to develop a plan with you for how we are going to work through the trauma(s) you have experienced. We need to know the memories, images, beliefs and feelings connected to your trauma(s) and how they connect to previous incidents.

As you can see, there is a lot of work that needs to be done before the trauma processing can begin! Depending on the extent of your trauma, it can take quite some time to navigate phases 1-3 in preparation for the trauma processing.

Misconception: EMDR targets only a single incident

The second misconception about EMDR is it’s ability to target a single incident without exploring the broader context of the memory. What we recognize when using EMDR for trauma is that the traumatic event is often linked to other memories, feelings, or beliefs that need to be explored and understood for healing to occur.

Here are a couple examples to help better understand how traumatic memories are often linked to other memories:

Example 1:

A client comes to EMDR therapy wanting to process a recent car accident. They feel very anxious when they are driving and want to process the accident to reclaim safety in a vehicle. However, during the assessment phase of EMDR, the client begins to see that emotions of helplessness and fear from the accident bring up memories of childhood experiences where they felt unsafe and out of control. To properly heal the memory of the car crash, EMDR therapy needs to target both the helplessness in childhood and the car crash because the two are connected.

Example 2:

A client wants EMDR to help them move on from a painful breakup. They struggle with intrusive thoughts and overwhelming sadness. However, upon exploration, the client realizes the emotions tied to the breakup reveal deeper attachment wounds from childhood, where they experienced emotional neglect. EMDR therapy needs to not only target the recent break up but also the emotional neglect in order to be effective.

As our examples hopefully illustrate, when we begin planning for EMDR, we often identify that the traumatic incident links to something much deeper. EMDR is only effective if we can first explore how the traumas connect to other memories and then process the various parts of the trauma, rather than just the most recent incident.

EMDR is most effective when we are open to exploring not just the target memory, but also any deeper issues that may be connected to it.

Tips for getting the most out of EMDR

Be open to exploring all parts of your experience, not just the recent incident. This will allow a deeper level of healing.
Allow time to develop a deep relationship with your EDMR therapist. While you may be eager to jump right in, this step cannot be over-looked. The deeper the relationship with your EMDR therapist, the deeper the healing can be.
Healing from trauma means being able to understand how various parts of your experience connect. As such, allowing yourself to go to any memory that comes up is an important part of healing through EMDR.

In Summary

For EMDR to work effectively, it's really important to remember that:

Healing is complex and requires exploring the full scope of your trauma and lived experiences.
EMDR is not just about targeting one incident—it's about uncovering and addressing connected memories, emotions, and patterns.
Trust and building solid relationship with your EMDR therapist is essential to complete healing.

EMDR can be a powerful tool for healing, but it works best when approached with openness, patience, and a willingness to explore the deeper layers of your experience. If you’re considering EMDR, we encourage you to connect with one of our EMDR-trained therapists to discuss your needs and create a treatment plan that supports your healing journey. To learn more or schedule a first session, reach out to us today!